Comments on: Embracing Gender Healing

By: rightful sound

rightful sound — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 23:45:09 +0000

[...] smiling and riding that wave of powerful confidence, i read julie daley’s post and cut loose with my heartfelt comment before i could stop myself from sharing a story that has [...]

By: Julie

Julie — Sat, 27 Feb 2010 04:32:04 +0000

“we weren’t dismissing the male experiences – not at all. she just wanted this to be about females, and i happened to think that was not only appropriate but absolutely okay.”

Jeanne, I agree. Totally appropriate and absolutely okay. This is exactly why I created Unabashedly Female. It isn’t to dismiss the male experience – it is to honor being female and to hold a space for us to discover what it is to be female, since we’ve been told for long enough what we’re supposed to be, and god knows that’s not at all what we are.

And, something new is in the air. Something new is being born. The sacred feminine is coming alive in us all, and women have something to offer that only women can offer. I think it is imperative we own our differences.

I found it so interesting that both women and men honor the feminine, and women, and both women and men, disrespect and dishonor the feminine and hold up the Patriarchy. It isn’t just a man vs. woman thing.

And, by the way, I’m glad you shared that story here, for the first time. I can see why it burned your butt.

Love being in conversation with you.

By: whollyjeanne

whollyjeanne — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 23:27:11 +0000

thank you, julie. for starting the conversation. in the short time since i left my comment, i’ve already started a post for my blog that riffs off this one of yours. already enjoyed a spirited (if one-sided) conversation with hubbie about this. (now if i could just remember all i said long enough to write it down!) thank you for receiving my comment in the generous, spacious spirit i’ve come to know as you. i did, i must tell you, fear i would come across as belligerent or argumentative – not at all my intent. just something i feel strongly about . . . and i’ve never had an opportunity to share that story about my friend’s thesis, a story that still burns my butt. xo

By: Julie

Julie — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 22:13:42 +0000

Oh, Jeanne. You’re a woman after my own heart. Stirred, salved, and all. Yes, to harmony, and YES to us being able to be what we are independently of each other, with space, respect and all. We don’t always have to invite the boys to our parties and we don’t always have to attend theirs. But, I can see that life might be a whole lot more peaceful if we learn to play well together. And for the record, I think you play great and share profusely.

By: whollyjeanne

whollyjeanne — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 22:06:29 +0000

as usual, a very elegant post here. one that stirs and salves simultaneously. (i’m in a very alliterative mood today.) i loved ensler’s talk because of what she was saying, of course, and because she included the males by referring to their girl cell. i haven’t read the comments, and may not. i get enough of that without going looking for more. i have mixed feelings here. i know a lot of women resent being referred to as “girl”, and that “inner child” theory has run its course with me, but the word “girl” touches a part of me that’s still there, still alive. i like “woman” and “female”, too, mind you.

okay, i’m getting off track.

i, too, want harmony – the kind that comes with respect and allowance for the other instead of obliteration of the other. and i don’t want sameness, don’t want cookie cutter cultures. females and males are different in very important (and often obvious) ways, and i like that. i also like it that we share some things, too, but i don’t want to be forced to share. when a friend was working on her thesis about her life as a sexually abused recovering alcoholic and her ensuing new theory for treatment of female alcoholics, sort of a post-12 steps plan, several faculty readers said she had to include males because they are victims, too. well, that made me fighting mad because this was HER paper about HER life and HER theory and HER plan. besides, she has been a female all her life and couldn’t address the male perspective with any degree of credibility (that was my argument). we weren’t dismissing the male experiences – not at all. she just wanted this to be about females, and i happened to think that was not only appropriate but absolutely okay.

so, yes to harmony and much-needed balance, and at the same time, let’s enjoy some space in our togetherness, too.

(it’s quite possible i still have some childhood issues i need to work on. like the ones that resulted in notes on my report card about how i don’t play well with others or share. you know, those kinds of notes. but still.)