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My place of healing.
My church of choice.
Dance – where I’ve learned to sink down into the layers of this body that I had feared for so long.
Most of you, those who read me fairly often, know by now that on Sundays I dance. I Sweat My Prayers with 149 other beautiful dancers.
Yet, even though you know I dance, I am not sure you know the depth of what dance means to me; what it has offered to me. When I first found 5Rhythms, ten years ago, I was in deep need of healing.
I can’t quite put into words what this practice of 5Rhythms has brought to my life – the movement and awareness and healing is so much more than any words could ever begin to describe.
Dance brings me alive, and the more I give myself to the dance, the more it strips away my defenses, my veils – and the more it reveals the truth of what I am.
When I dare to dance the truth, I have no idea what I will come to uncover.
Yesterday was Sunday and I danced.
And, it was Plant a Kiss day…at least for 16 of us bloggers who decided to see what happens when you plant a kiss and then write about it.
What was my kiss and what did I plant?
I planted the deepest desire to dance the truth, to unveil myself, to plant my kiss on the dancefloor with breath.
When we dance the 5Rhythms, we are silent with our mouths and generously expressive with our bodies. We ‘speak’ with the body. We breathe through our feet and move with the breath.
My kisses were breath, planted on the dance floor with each step.
As I breathed, I moved, and as I moved I discovered how powerful an intention is, how powerfully the body can express this intention to reveal. My intention was an offering of truth, of pure expression. I found so many kisses of breath – a kiss of joy, a kiss of love, a kiss of touch, the softest most tender touch of the skin; a kiss of power, a kiss of kindness, a kiss of whatever showed up in the dance, even those more painful places like grief.
As I danced, I was feeling joyful and then ‘our song’ began to play – the song my late-husband and I shared. As soon as the first refrains of ‘Killing Me Softly’…
Strumming my pain with his fingers
Singing my life with his words
killing me softy with his song
killing me softly with his song
telling my whole life
with his words
killing me softly with his song…
…landed in the cells of my body, I shuddered with grief and tears. Suddenly what had been such great joy moved into tears; and as suddenly as those appeared, just as suddenly a soft pair of hands landed gently on my shoulders.
I turned around and saw my friend. She put her arms out and I moved into her generous hug.
Together, we danced to the words and music that always take me back to so many sweet moments of life shared with Gary. Then, my friend surprised me. I whispered to her that this had been our song, and she whispered back, “I know. You shared that with me when we first met and first danced together.” I just looked at her in awe. That was at least eight years ago and she remembered.
You see, this friend just lost her husband, too, not quite three years ago. She knew how I felt and in her generous and loving way, she reached out to me to hold me in whatever feelings might show up. Her response was immediate, generous and open. She was killing me softly with her touch.
As Killing Me Softly ended, we ended our dance and I moved into other partnerships on the dance floor. I felt even more open, even more trusting, even more willing to plant my feet deeply, open my heart with more tenderness and vulnerability, and trust in the flow of the dance.
I moved with love, planting kisses with my feet wherever they travelled, blowing kisses with both in-breath and out-breath. As I danced, I marveled at how responsive the human body is to touch, both the touch of skin and the touch of intention. I could feel the power of the willingness to be open and vulnerable.
In planting love wherever we land, we never quite know what will grow. And, we never quite know if our own love will come back to us, through another.
Perhaps we are all planting kisses with the breath.
Plant a Kiss Day -
In the spirit of Amy Krouse Rosenthal’s work, 16 inspiring and creative bloggers (including me!) set out to “Plant a Kiss” in the world on Sunday, April 29. Today each of us is posting about that experience. Click here to visit the main Plant a Kiss page, where you can easily link to all participating bloggers. For every blog that you visit and comment on, your name will be tossed into a hat for a chance to win one of many amazing prizes.
My offering? a copy of The Best of Unabashedly Female – a digital journey into the sacred feminine.