“It’s my contention that there is no sincere path a human being can take without breaking his or her heart…so it can be a lovely, merciful thing to think, ‘Actually, there is no path I can take without having my heart broken, so why not get on with it and stop wanting these extra-special circumstances which stop me from doing something courageous?’” – David Whyte
The Sincere Path
Ah, these words speak to me. In truth, I have had by heart broken open so many times in my life. And, there is so much in this world right now that breaks my heart on a continual basis…if I allow it in. And, there is much in this world right now that brings me great joy.
A sincere path. One of truth and heart. The one that I most resist, because it isn’t ‘my’ path. It is the one that is asked of me.
The times my heart has been most broken are the times when life has happened to me. I am getting more accustomed to handling those things that seem difficult. The place where I’ve been stuck is this place of choosing to walk into the heart-break. Choosing the fire.
I’ve wanted to have it my way. I hadn’t thought of it as extral-special circumstances, but now I see that’s what I have wanted. You know how it is? If only I could choose from ‘this’ menu and not ‘that’ one. If only it could look ‘this’ way, not ‘that’ way.
The sincere path doesn’t come with a menu of choosable circumstances. We either choose to take it or not, and in my life I’ve noticed that the choice is something I must repeatedly make. It’s the same choice, just returned to again and again from wherever forgetting has taken me.
And then sometimes I just get stuck because I don’t want to get sticky. [Thank you, Jen Louden]
It’s one thing to learn to respond to life when your heart is broken open by life. It’s another thing to turn to that which you know will break your heart open and to go anyway, or to head into those circumstances you think will bring you personal pain and go anyway.
This is where courage and trust come in. It is where remembering what I know to be true, and so often forget, that everything is sacred. Everything. Every cell of everything. To remember that what I fear out there, is what I fear within myself is one of the most difficult things to remember because it is not the idea of it that will open me to my sacred path…it is the knowing of it deep in my heart.
I have moments of knowing that all is sacred and those moments are always by way of the heart and never by way of my ego mind. It only sees separation. But the heart, ah the heart. As the bindings around my heart break, my heart breaks open.
I fear being exposed. I fear being censored. I fear being shamed and humiliated.
What I really fear is feeling exposure, feeling being censored, shamed and humiliated. I fear feeling these feelings. I fear the power of them to break me. But can they really break me? Not really. Not what I truly am.
Somewhere I know that a multitude of experiences await me, not just these few my mind seems to focus on.
Somewhere I know that if I meet these circumstances that await me, they won’t kill me.
Somewhere I know that if I sincerely choose the sincere path, what will come are just what I need to experience…not to harm me, but to heal me.
And what I do know is that the more I have deeply grieved in my life, the more joy I am capable of feeling. The more I have opened to the unknown, the more I am surprised by the incredible variety of amazing things there are to feel in this human body.
What is your sincere path? Do you know it? Do you skirt around its edges? Do you circle and circle never quite landing?
What don’t you want to feel? What feeling do you avoid at all cost?
Will you allow your heart to break open?
Will you journey with me?