Money: A Love Story

by Julie on September 12, 2013

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Money: A Love Story. A brand new book by Kate Northrup.

I’m happy to offer this review of Kate’s book, something I rarely say yes to. It’s not what my blog is about…for the most part. But when I was asked to review it, something inside me tugged at me telling me there was something deeper here for not only me personally, but for you, the beautiful women and men who want to read what I share here. So, I said, Yes.

Money was one of the most painful areas of my life growing up.

I still am working on healing the underlying issues around money. Money itself is just a placeholder for value…and what we learn when we are young around value, worth, and love, of ourselves, others, and things, gets projected onto those pieces of paper. Poor money. It’s really weighed down with so much stuff… confusion, pain, and shadow…all of the usual suspects.

I received the book about two weeks ago, and to be entirely honest, I have thoroughly, and thoughtfully, read the words and completed the exercises through page 60, and that’s out of around 200 pages.

Kate’s book has delightfully struck a deep chord within me.

I had hoped to have it read all the way through, and to have done all the exercises within these two weeks, but my relationship with money feels like the crazy tangle of freeway overpasses that guide drivers through the maze that is Los Angeles’ freeway system. And, as Kate states in her book, don’t bypass the exercises. In fact she notes that it might take a full year to really move through whatever the book surfaces.

So, I decided to share with you exactly why I am wiling to do that with her book.

 

Here’s the thing about Kate’s book, Money: A Love Story.

There is something in her book that speaks to me on a level other than words. I have a sense it is her transmission, those unseen but deeply felt qualities you experience when you read another’s words or listen to them voiced.

The book is light. Her tone is welcoming. As I experience it, there’s a feeling of being loved and supported.

What comes through so clearly is Kate’s unwavering confidence in both her own wisdom and in the possibility that I can do this, that my relationship to money CAN be transformed into one of love.

Perhaps part of this is that I am ready to take this journey with money. Perhaps it is partly that I respond well to a container that deeply holds me in love and confidence. Perhaps there are many reasons I don’t even yet know for why I feel so positive and open about Kate’s book.

 

Money & Self-Worth

I know my money story is deeply tied up with my own sense of self-worth. I’ve come a long, long way in how I feel about myself, and I sense that’s why I am ready for this.

None of this work around money and self-worth is easy for any of us. But, together, in a container of love, we can heal.

A couple of things I’ve come away with already that have allowed me to access deeper feelings.

In the first handful of pages, Kate shares something she learned from Nicole Daedone. Kate suggests looking back at your whole story, your life story, finding a way to “fall in love with your story”. She goes on to write, “be grateful for it”. And, she mentions seeing yourself as the heroine of your story. When I read these words, I cried. It’s not like I’ve never heard these words before. But, for whatever reason, as I read them from Kate, I suddenly felt everything in me relax as I saw how truly accepting the entirety of my life brought an immediate sense of peace. And then, I could see how strong I’ve been in my life in my ability to respond to a great deal of adversity. Loving my story allowed me to not be at odds with it anymore. It allowed be to have nothing to fight against any more. Yes, so much of the work I’ve done prior to this has probably helped. Yet, I wonder if that’s so. Is there a place where we can simply just accept. After all, the reality is that our lives are what our lives have been. Without the extra stories we lay on it, our life story is our life story.

Through this doorway we can set it all down, so we can be here, now, in this moment, living and breathing in a place of wholeness rather than fracturedness around money, and worth, and love.

The other suggestion she offered was to see what our whole life story has taught us. I could see how incredibly resilient I am. I could see how strong and committed I am. And, I could see how incredibly I persevere in my life. I have these great skills, and sit’s because of the events of my life that I have learned to be so (and maybe I came in with just a tad bit of strength, too!).

I have done a lot of work in my life to heal, and I’ve healed so much within me. The work I do here at Unabashedly Female is a testimony to that. I know we women have learned to devalue ourselves and how the sacred feminine moves through us. The feminine has been denigrated. And, now, in some ways, the masculine is being denigrated as well.

All of us suffer because of this denigration of life, and our stories around money mirror this. If money is simply an exchange of value between people, how we value ourselves and others holds the key to a healthy loving relationship with money.

There are many, many messages, and messengers, out here reflecting back to us how it is time for the money story of humanity to be healed. Deep in our hearts, we are generous compassionate creatures. This I know.

 

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