Masculinity, Divine Feminine & Creation

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I came across this video yesterday, courtesy of Chameli Ardagh. This young man, Molina Soliel gives me so much hope that one day we will all come to know, honor, and live the divine feminine and divine masculine in ourselves, in others, and in all of life.

Molina is an artist of the spoken word. Molina speaks to the truth that “without women, none of us would exist.” “It’s women who give life.” To hear this strong, passionate, beautiful man speak about both the masculine and feminine within him, within other men, within us all, makes me smile really brightly.

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I’ll Meet You There

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A Woman - Bangkok
A Woman - Bangkok

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Born of her mother, giving birth to her daughter who would, in turn, become the carrier and custodian of life, she could feel connected to an immemorial past of mothers, and an immemorial future of daughters, each a transmitter of the life process, each surrendering to an experience more mysterious and powerful and demanding than any other, requiring as it were, her submission to an instinctual process which, ineluctably, as the vehicle of life, she served. ~Anne Baring

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I know all human beings are creative. I teach this. Every time I teach, over the period of ten weeks, my students go from believing they are anywhere from not creative, to mildly creative, to somewhat creative – to knowing and trusting in their personal, internal creative process. Period.

All human beings are creative. Yet, I find the ‘creativity = artistic’ beliefs in this culture, on the whole, to be frustratingly entrenched.

When you think of creativity, does it have to do with painting? writing? art in some way?

Do you believe you are creative? If not, when did you lose touch with your creativity. If you do, how did you hang on to it? Or when did you reclaim it?

Just wondering. ‘Cause I have something really important I want women to realize within themselves.

“surrendering to an experience more mysterious and powerful and demanding than any other…”

Women are powerfully creative. We are born with the capacity to bring life into being. To birth life into life. Requiring our “submission to an instinctual process” that we cannot, the least bit, control.

I submit that women’s creativity is mysterious and powerful enough that anything and everything has been done to get us to forget the power of this process that is intrinsic to our gender.

And, I’m not just talking about birthing babies. I’m talking about an internal power we hold, as women, that could rock this world if we really got how powerful we are. And, if we could come together, as a gender, to honor, revere and support each other, fully, to wake up to this power within, the world would never be the same.

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Today, Marianne Williamson wrote an open letter to Sarah Palin. I was deeply moved by the grace and eloquence that Marianne showed in both her willingness to bridge the gap between her and Sarah, but also in her ability to articulate her way through what could be rough waters. In my opinion, Marianne was able to offer an invitation to enter into conversation with Sarah, a conversation between two women of faith.

What I loved about this most, though, is the example Marianne set of how to begin to come together as women, in a way that can begin to engage our powerful creative abilities, together as a community of women, especially when we might hold such polar opposite political views.

Each of us women is “…a transmitter of the life process…” whether or not we birth babies. Each of us is the microcosm of the glorious macrocosm that is the Big Womb of Life.

It’s time we find a way to come together to honor, revere and reflect this mysterious and glorious creativity we all embody. Somehow, someway we can realize we’ve all been conditioned to the hilt; we’ve all found some way to survive in this culture that does what it does to suppress women because it is terrified of this natural, most mysterious female power.

We can find solidarity, even when we hold such differing views. I know we can. I sincerely hope Sarah is willing to meet Marianne in this conversation. I sincerely hope they both can hold this space. I ardently hope I can find the grace and eloquence that Marianne showed today, so that I, too, can somehow begin to help bridge whatever chasms lie between all the women of the world, the carriers and custodians of life, regardless of our conditioning or our political points of view.

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Whatever it takes to ensure there is a future worth living for all the world’s children is worth it. Whatever it takes to reclaim this power as women, we must do it. I don’t know how we will do it, but I know this deep mystery that is our female creativity does know.

It is time for our awakening to our instincts, letting go of our judgments, and setting free our deep river of love for each other as women.

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Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing,
there is a field. I’ll meet you there.

When the soul lies down in that grass,
the world is too full to talk about.
Ideas, language, even the phrase “each other” doesn’t make any sense.

~ rumi

image by Ronn ashore : creative commons license 2.0


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This More Human Love

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Some day there will be girls and women whose name will no longer signify merely an opposite of the masculine, but something in itself, something that makes one think, not of any complement and limit, but of life and existence: the female human being.


—– This advance will (at first much against the will of the men who have been outstripped) change the experiencing of love, which is now full of error, will alter it from the ground up, reshape it into a relation that is meant to be of one human being to another, no longer of man to woman. And this more human love (that will fulfil itself, infinitely considerate and gentle, and good and clear in binding and releasing) will resemble that which we are with struggle and endeavour preparing, the love that consists in this, that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other.” ~Rilke

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For me, the hope of all this work is for woman to become that which she naturally is: sacredly creative, wildly passionate, compassionately loving, innately life sustaining, and vibrantly alive.

This natural being flowers when she is not keeping herself small, apologizing for her existence, silencing the words she knows must be spoken, and dismissing her own value.

This woman values what she loves, deeply and reverently.

This woman sustains life, in whatever way she must, because that is her life currency.

When woman realizes she is already this woman, the world will change.

And in turn, for man to know himself as he naturally is, by his inherent design. Fully loving, protective of life, all of life. Naturally honoring, respectful, and vibrantly alive.

Ultimately, for me, the goal is for woman and man to bow down to the sacredness in each other, to stand alongside each other, each in their own fullness and independence, each honoring the natural design of the other, in order to provide a loving world for every child, for every animal, for every being we share this amazing earth we call home.

And this more human love (that will fulfill itself, infinitely considerate and gentle, and good and clear in binding and releasing) will resemble that which we are with struggle and endeavor preparing, the love that consists in this, that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other.” ~Rilke

What other goal could there be other than to become what we are capable of becoming ?

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Embracing Gender Healing

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Being a girl is so powerful that we’ve had to train everyone not to be that. ~Eve Ensler

By now, many of you have probably watched Eve Ensler’s TED India talk of November, 2009, “Embrace Your Inner Girl”. If not, I’ve provided it here. I just found it and was blown away by her ability to use language that is inclusive of both men and women. It’s one of the things I loved about the talk.

In attempting to speak about a subject that is charged for so many of us, she has come up with a metaphor, the Girl Cell, that speaks to a part of greater consciousness that exists in us all, men and women. By doing so, she is able to speak about the feminine part of all of us that has been suppressed in the Patriarchy.

She also weaves this idea of the feminine within each of us together with the understanding that there is something positive and life-affirming that girls and women have to offer our world that has been untapped. It’s a both/and perspective: that we all, men and women, can embrace our girl cell, and we can honor what women have to offer as well.

That being said, Eve doesn’t speak in this talk about the boy cell or what men have to offer. That doesn’t mean she doesn’t value those things. Who knows why she doesn’t. The reason I bring this up shows up in the comments that follow the video on the TED site. The context we are all conditioned in, the patriarchy, has created an atmosphere where there is much distrust of the feminine in us all, and much violence towards women. From a contextual point of view, much of what she brings forward must be understood in a new light. I would also say we need to understand, in a new light, what it would look like for men and woman to embrace their boy cell, those positive aspects that come from owning the masculine qualities that uphold and protect life itself.

As I read the comments, I feel so much compassion for all of us as we navigate these churning waters of not only external gender healing, but the internal healing we are all experiencing between our own girl cells and boy cells, our inner masculine and feminine parts. I wonder about how we can talk to each other, woman to man, woman to woman, man to man, about this. Some men were obviously put off by her talk, along with some women. Some men totally were not, along with some women.

In the end, this inner balance between our masculine and feminine, and the balance between these two parts in the external world, is what needs to happen for us all to heal, and for our planet to heal.

As a woman, I loved Eve’s talk. I loved that she spoke to the pain that men have had to endure, too. And, one day, I hope we have a video to watch that speaks of the boy cell and how we all can call this forward within ourselves.

I believe we will create a harmonious and peaceful world ONLY when we come to a place of true gender respect, where we’ve all seen through the rampant misogyny (contempt, fear of, hatred of women) and misandry (contempt, fear of, hatred of men) that exist today. Many are doing powerful work in the world to make this happen. Part of our individual work to heal is to become aware of the places inside ourselves where we fear, have contempt for, and even hate our own inner woman and man. That inner hate shows up in the outer world.

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And, you?

Now that you’ve watched it, what do you think? How did her language of this issue impact you?

If you read some of the comments, how were you impacted?

How do you feel about the current state of affairs between the genders, and within your own being?

What pearls of wisdom do you have to share?

I’d love to know.

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Women, Power and Sex

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Each day of December, I am being moved to post by Gwen Bell’s Best of 2009 Blog Challenge:
Today is Day
30 Ad. What advertisement made you think this year?

Advertising makes me wonder where we’re going as a culture. To be honest, I don’t watch much TV. I don’t like to shop. I don’t read magazines.  When it comes to advertising, I cringe from what I see. I feel outraged. I feel sad. I feel helpless to stop the objectification that continues to occur.

I’ve heard many young women say that they feel empowered because they now have sexual freedom. They equate power with sex. After all, most advertising encourages them to be the sexiest they can be. Everything seems to be about being sexy. Not just beautiful and thin, but sexy, too.

I see woman as beautiful, amazing, and strong. I am amazed by women. And, it makes me sad to think that women don’t see their own sacredness.

What is it to be a powerful woman? Is power only about sex? Maybe in our current cultural milieu it’s the brass ring, but what if true power for women was not about what we give away in order to be wanted, but what we honor and respect within ourselves?

Our sexuality is a powerful force. And, it is a sacred and mysterious force. We are bearers of life. We bring life into life. We are sacredly creative.

I’d love to know what you think about this. What will it take to respect and honor this within ourselves, even in the face of more and more negative advertising?

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Digital Thank you Notes From the Edge of A New Decade

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Heart of Midlothian by Niffty on Flickr

image attribution

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Each day of December, I am being  moved to post by Gwen Bell’s Best of 2009 Blog Challenge:
Today is Day
28 Stationery. When you touch the paper, your heart melts. The ink flows from the pen. What was your stationery find of the year?

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I do love nice stationery, but this morning I don’t feel compelled to write on this. What I am compelled to do is celebrate and thank. This comes from two things: Gwen Bell’s post on How to Write Non-Digital Thank You Notes and my post from yesterday about social web moments and women connecting.

After I wrote yesterday’s post where I shared about the wonderful connections with women I have made during this year, I felt an urge to celebrate as many of these women in today’s post by thanking as many as I can for the gifts they’ve given me by sharing their personal experiences so vulnerably and beautifully. These women have also shared by coming to my blog, reading and leaving a thank you note to me in the form of a comment – something that lifted me and encouraged me to write with more courage and vulnerability myself.

This is my digital thank you note to you beautiful women. This is my celebration of you!

So, in no particular order at all, here’s to you beautiful women. I celebrate you and your voices of vulnerability and truth!:

Julie Jordan Scott: Passionately Creating

Jeanne Hewell-Chambers: The Barefoot Heart

Karen Caterson: Square Peg People

Kathy Loh: Full Moon Path

Lena West: Xyno Media

Amy Oscar: Story, Spirit, Seed

Emma James: Pleasure Notes

Kelly Diels: Cleavage

Gwen Bell: Big Love in a Small World

Mynde Mayfield: m Squared

Bindu Wiles: The Awakened Life

Marjory Mejia: Sacred Flow

Lindsey Mead: A Design So Vast

Alana Sheeren: Whole Self Coach

Floreta: The Solitary Panda

RandiBuckley: Randi Buckley Coaching

Carrie Bouler: Different World

Dian Reid: Authentic Realities

Olive & Hope

Chris Zydel: Creative Juices Arts

Lisa Lauffer: Deep Waters Coaching

Alicia McLucas: Life Coach

Kate T.W.: Amusing Fire

Mary Liepold: Peace X Peace

Kate Moller: Team Northrup

Danielle Vieth: Team Northrup

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If you feel compelled, take a moment to check out these beautiful women and the work they do in the world. It is an honor and pleasure to know each of you. I look forward to our deepening friendship in this coming new decade.

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When I Was A Boy

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One of the things near to my heart is gender healing. I see gender healing as the foundation to healing the human predicament. So, when I came across this song, I wept. Dar Williams has gifted us with a beautiful song that so poignantly speaks to what happens to both boys and girls when we become conditioned out of our natural balance of both masculine and feminine qualities.

What if we had grown up believing we are both a boy and a girl? ‘Cause we are.


WHEN I WAS A BOY

I won’t forget when Peter Pan came to my house, took my hand
I said I was a boy; I’m glad he didn’t check.
I learned to fly, I learned to fight
I lived a whole life in one night
We saved each other’s lives out on the pirate’s deck.

And I remember that night
When I’m leaving a late night with some friends
And I hear somebody tell me it’s not safe,
someone should help me
I need to find a nice man to walk me home.

When I was a boy, I scared the pants off of my mom,
Climbed what I could climb upon
And I don’t know how I survived,
I guess I knew the tricks that all boys knew.

And you can walk me home, but I was a boy, too.

I was a kid that you would like, just a small boy on her bike
Riding topless, yeah, I never cared who saw.
My neighbor come outside to say, “Get your shirt,”
I said “No way, it’s the last time I’m not breaking any law.”

And now I’m in this clothing store, and the signs say less is more
More that’s tight means more to see, more for them, not more for me
That can’t help me climb a tree in ten seconds flat

When I was a boy, See that picture? That was me
Grass-stained shirt and dusty knees
And I know things have gotta change,
They got pills to sell, they’ve got implants to put in,
they’ve got implants to remove

But I am not forgetting…that I was a boy too

And like the woods where I would creep, it’s a secret I can keep
Except when I’m tired, ‘cept when I’m being caught off guard
And I’ve had a lonesome awful day, the conversation finds its way
To catching fire-flies out in the backyard.

And so I tell the man I’m with about the other life I lived
And I say, “Now you’re top gun, I have lost and you have won”
And he says, “Oh no, no, can’t you see

When I was a girl, my mom and I we always talked
And I picked flowers everywhere that I walked.
And I could always cry, now even when I’m alone I seldom do
And I have lost some kindness
But I was a girl too.
And you were just like me, and I was just like you”

Dar Williams’ music is the music that rocked my world in 2009.

This post is part of The Best of 2009 Blog Challenge (by blogger Gwen Bell):
Day 10 Album of the year. What’s rocking your world?

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Embrace Your Wild Creativity

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“Men and women both have a role to play in these times. Feminine wisdom holds many answers, and we have a responsibility to acknowledge its presence, and allow it to emerge as a force in the world. And women have a particular responsibility in this process. Women’s spiritual consciousness, which holds the secret of how spirit and matter come together to create new life, is needed for the mystical process that is taking place within the whole. In order to serve the needs of this new era, women must really live who they are without hesitation, and leave behind patterns of insecurity, dependency, and fear that have inhibited them from expressing what they know is real. Men can serve by developing their own feminine nature, and also by supporting and protecting women as they accept their responsibilities during these changing times.” ~Hilary Hart

Women’s Wild Creativity is: the source of Life, one’s creativity, flowing through a vibrantly alive, instinctive, and radiant female body.

I started Wildly Creative Women six years ago, after a life-changing, consciousness-shifting experience of my own wild creativity. During a mess painting episode, something broke open within me. It brought awareness and light into every cell of my body. In the tender, joy-infused moments of this experience, I saw clearly that women’s creativity is different than men’s. While the source is the same, the vehicle which we use to express it is wholly, and holy, different.

Women have the deep creativity that allows for Spirit to marry with matter, to bring life forth into life. Whether or not she gives birth to children, this capacity, this consciousness exists within each and every woman. It is only a matter of awakening it, and right now, in these times, we are blessed with Life’s deepest desire for us all to awaken.

Men, too, have a role in all of this. As Hart so eloquently states, men must embrace their own feminine nature within, and protect women so that they can step into their new place of autonomy and new-found sense of responsibility to the whole. What greater gift can we give to each other as men and women than to fully awaken to, and realize, the gifts Life has bestowed upon us. We each have a place of service to the whole in this new world that is unfolding before our eyes.

What we are now faced with is the very real necessity, and beautiful opportunity, to bow down in true honor and respect to each other as women and men. In order to come into balance in this way, we need to come into balance within our own beings…and we need to honor each other’s personal power as human beings, knowing that this personal power within each human being is the sacred life force that feeds and nourishes us all.

Each of us can ask ourselves, where do I give my power away, and what do I give it away for? Is it for love? Is it for safety and security? Is it to keep myself playing small in a world that doesn’t seem to be comfortable with my power? AND, we can ask ourselves, where do I take away another’s power? Where do I gladly help another play small, so that I can feel superior?

There is no shortage of love, unless we choose to see scarcity. Love, compassion, passion and creativity all flow from your life force, your inner resource that is your personal power.

In very real concrete terms, women’s power is continually taken away by a culture that does not value the true beauty of women; by a culture that does not value women’s bodies; by a culture that does not ensure that its children are well cared for because it continues to make the day-to-day realities of life so difficult for these childrens’ mothers.

Embracing your wild creativity means you begin to open to your personal power, to that vibrancy that is your life force, while marrying it with the instintive nature that your body gifts you with. Feel this force within you. Honor it, acknowledge it, and bring it out into this world that is thirsting for this sacred nature within you.

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Equality Now

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Equality Now

Joss Whedon on Equality:

“It’s not something we should be striving for. It’s a necessity. Equality is like gravity, we need it to stand on this earth as men and women, and the misogyny that is in every culture is not a true part of the human condition. It is life out of balance and that imbalance is sucking something out of the soul of every man and women who’s confronted with it. We need equality, kinda now.”

I came across this video today and was completely struck by Joss’ message. It is succinct and clear: we human beings are not naturally misogynistic. It’s not our way to hate and fear women. It is cultural conditioning at its worst.

While this video is a few years old (2006), but it is just as timely…perhaps even more, considering the election events in Iran and how women were treated, the tragic gang rape in Richmond, California, and a host of current day events that continue to reflect back to the human race just how misogynistic we have been taught to be.

When will we realize that peace will only come on our planet when there is peace and deep honoring and respect between women and men? What will it take for this shift to happen? What do we need to see within our own behavior in order to create peace within, so there can be peace all over?

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Marrying Pattern and Matter in the Matrix

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Photo Credit

I was watching PopTech online this morning, and lo and behold there was a talk about creativity that perked up my female ears and heart. I had never heard of PopTech (hard to imagine as a woman with a tech/design/creativity degree). This morning though, I came across mention of PopTech from @PatriciaMartin on Twitter. While she mentioned she couldn’t be there because she is packing to move, I thought I would log on.

I watched a talk by Kyna Leski from RISD. She was speaking about creativity. This is my love in life, and my work here in the world through Creative Wellspring and Wildly Creative Women. Creativity is the Spirit within you, your true nature.

Kyna explained that matrix (derived from the word for mother, and later used to refer to womb) is where pattern and material are married. She then went on to say that pattern (derived from the word for father) and material (derived from the word for Mother) are married in the womb in the creative process.

We all are creative beings. All people are creative. When I teach my ten-week course (in courses for women and men, and also for women only) I love the moment when students experience their creativity, when they really ‘get’ that they are creative beings. It’s like seeing each one remember, in the moment, their true nature and true potential.

We all live our creative process, this marrying of pattern to matter in the matrix, many, many moments in each day of our lives. And, in my work with women, and in my own life, I know that women are created with a womb that brings forth life, brings life into being, brings the mystery into manifestation. Yes, we have a physical womb, but more importantly we embody the creative capacity of the divine feminine. As Rumi said, “Woman is the radiance of God; she is not your beloved. She is the Creator —you could say that she is not created.“ We can create babies, and we can create so much more. We are mothers to life.

Men, too, are just as creative. The source of creativity is non-gendered. The source is life re-creating itself in its never ending unfolding – Shiva and the cycle of creation and destruction. I am divinely curious about how our design as women and as men is naturally intelligent, and what it would be like and look like if we, both men and women, began to trust and have faith in our deepest creative potential, that expression that flows through our gendered body.

This marrying of the mother and the father takes place within us, and in this marriage we bring forth our deepest creative capacity, a new consciousness and intelligence far greater than what any one of us can try to ‘think’ into creation.

It is my deepest hope that if we, as women, can own our divine feminine creative capacity, that men can then relax into their own natural creative nature, and we can, side-by-side, walk into a future that allows for our unique humanity to flower.

So, I know my opportunity is to no longer attempt to exist in the image of the masculine, which is defined by all the ways I was taught to be in the world. The opportunity is to open to being fully female, to honor and trust my own creative process, my design as woman. I don’t yet know how this will evolve. How can I? But, I can trust in this design, trusting in the deeper intelligence that life is. I welcome this marriage of pattern and mattter within me. And, something that is just as exciting, I get to trust in man’s design. I look forward to discovering what shows up between us.

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